Sell your Christmas presents!

I really don't begrudge you anything! That's exactly why you're going to return or sell your Christmas presents! (If you get presents at all!) Besides, you don't need presents because I'm the only real present in your miserable, loser life. I, on the other hand, am insatiable and want lots of presents and luxury. That's exactly your job, among other things! To offer me the luxury I deserve. That's exactly what I'm going to plant in your stupid little head (and a bit more). There will be no presents for you this year!