Second chance! Use it!

I want to talk to you about your life! You loser have failed in your life as a man! So now you get your 2nd and last chance - as a slave! Use it, do what is necessary and what I demand of you! I will explain the rules to you, which must be followed 100%!!! Your life hasn't really made much sense so far, precisely because you have failed, but I am so indescribably kind and am giving you the unique chance to make something really good out of your messed-up loser life!